Fernando Torres Arrested

It's been reported that Chelsea's Fernando Torres was arrested on Monday in west London for throwing 20 petrol bombs. Police confirmed they all missed the target :)

André Villas-Boas: The new Chelsea manager

No it's not going to Guus Hiddink afterall and although I am disappointed (and £50 quid worse off) I am excited by the prospect of Villas-Boas coming to Stamford Bridge. Of course he has already been at Chelsea,serving under Jose Mourinho so knows the club already. His Porto team played exciting winning football so he is a good candidate for the job. My only worry is his inexperience.

Welcome to Chelsea Andre. Like all our other managers,I don't expect you to be here for long but before your callous,ruthless sacking,I hope you win us many trophies!

The Villa job: Who wants it?

With Chelsea still hanging about waiting for the arrival of Guus Hiddink,lets focus on the vacant managers post at Aston Villa. Unbelievable that newly resigned Birmingham boss Alex McCleish is the current favourite at 11/10. Imagine the Villa fans don't really want that one!

Its an open book really and I don't really think the bookies have a clue on this one. Others in the frame according to the bookies are David Moyes 3/1,Mark Hughes 4/1,Frank Rijkaard 12/1,Neil Lennon 20/1,Owen Coyle 16/1,Gus Poyet 16/1,Simon Grayson 25/1,Steve Mcmanaman 25/1,Steve McLaren 25/1,Rafa Benitez 25/1,Alan Curbishley 40/1,Bob Bradley 40/1,Gary Mcallister 40/1,Claudio Ranieri 50/1 and so on and on. Like I said,they haven't got a clue.

Who would you pick for the job if you were Villa?

Gus Hiddink: The Only Man For The Job!

So it now looks certain that Gus Hiddink is leaving his post as Turkey manager and coming back to Chelsea. Hopefully as Manager and not Director Of Football (whatever that means) The rumour that Mark Hughes is in line for the managers job is very worrying but that one will hopefully not come true. Latest odds on Gus being the next Chelsea manager are now an encouraging 1/7. Lets hope the bookies are right.

Gus is the right man for the job! Come on Chelsea,get him!

Championship Play Off Final

One of my favourite non Chelsea fixtures of the season today with the big one from Wembley,the Championship Play Off Final with the winners grabbing a place in the Premiership. On paper,Reading are the form team and with a Longy in their side,they are probably just favourites to win this. Manager Brian McDermott has performed a minor miracle since taking over last season when the club were bottom of that League so credit where credit is due.

However,I am rooting for the Swans today (probably because I had £20 on them to win the play-offs at 5/2!) Manager Brendan Rodgers of course has that Chelsea connection as has Scott Sinclair and on loan Italian star of the future,Fabio Borini so thats another reason I want them to win.

So my heart says Swansea but my head says Reading. It should be a good one!


EDIT: A great game won by Swansea 4 2. Chuffed to bits for them (and my wallet) A hat-trick for Chelsea old boy Scott Sinclair too. A deserved win and welcome to the Premier League Swansea City!

Carlo Ancelotti Sacked

Well that didn't take long did it? As long as it's not Avram Grant or Rafa Benitez and we have someone decent lined up,then I'm not too bothered to be honest. The way Chelsea treat their managers is a fucking joke though it has to be said.

Cheers for that Double Carlo and good luck in the future.

Censored!

Avram Grant Sacked

Millwall,Tottenham and Chelsea fans all over the world will be gutted by this terrible news. The man did a great job as predicted by yours truely :) The Championship will be a lot richer with the Caravan men in it and I'm not expecting to play them in the League for a very long time to come (sorry Lee!) I will really miss all of their two songs next season NOT!

Thank you Avram. Serves West Ham right for sacking the legend that is Gianfranco Zola (a man who actually kept them up) Gold,Sullivan and Brady,enjoy life in football's second tier. Enjoy your half empty (if your lucky) new Olympic stadium. Enjoy pitting your wits against Barnsley,Bristol City and Brighton. Who knows,if Alex McCleish can take Birmingham City down,you might be able to poach him for next season :)

The FA Cup Final

Congratulations to City on winning the Cup later today. Of course I don't know what City it is yet but you can bet your bottom dollar its either Manchester or Stoke. Man City are the bookies choice but my money is on Stoke who I think will spring a big surprise at Wembley. With this being Man City's biggest game for 35 years and Man Utd expected to lift the title at Blackburn in the 12.45 kick off,it would be so typical if Man City's big day was ruined.

Personally I don't care who wins (well I do actually as I've had a few quid on the Stokies!) but I do hope it's a good game. May the best team on the day win.

Oh and a big thumbs down to the FA for allowing Premier League games on the same day as the sacred FA Cup final. Yes we know it is the Champions League Final next Saturday but surely you could of put all this weekend's games on the Sunday. Luckily ours is Sunday so I won't miss the Cup Final but it is not the point. Punish football going fans why don't you. F.A. really does stand for Fucking Arseholes!


EDIT: I won't give up my day job. Congratulations Man City on a deserved win!

Manchester United vs Chelsea.....Can a miracle happen?

Who would of believed Chelsea are in this position now? After clawing back 12 points since we beat United at the Bridge back on March 1st,we are in the remarkable position of possibly stealing the League title off United. First we have to win at Old Trafford on Sunday. But can we do it? No League team have taken more top flight points off the Red Devil's on their own patch than Chelsea and we showed last season that when push comes to shove,we can go there and win. Am I confident? Am I fuck. Knowing Chelsea they will go there and win then hammer Newcastle at home only to fuck it up on the last day at Everton (one very recent boogie ground if ever there was one)

No I'm not confident at all but I am very pleased we are at least in this position. If United somehow don't win the title this season,then they have basically chucked it away and I just cannot see Fergie's men doing such a thing. Now I'm not one to wish injury on any player but if United do pick up minor knocks during their Champions League semi final 2nd leg to the likes of Rooney,Hernandez,Nani,Riggs,Park,Ferdinand,Vidic and Van der Sar,which keep them out of the Chelsea game,well you won't hear me complaining!

Whatever happens,its been an incredible end of the season for my boys. Thanks to a little help from a some dodgy lineman/refereeing (and Arsenal!) May the best team on the day triumph at OT on Sunday and may that team wear the Blue of Chelsea!

Chelsea vs Tottenham (a must win game!)

For a lot of Chelsea fans,tomorrow afternoon's match against Tottenham is the most important of the season. Not because we need the points but because of who we are playing. There is no love lost between the supporters and for many Blues,this lot are our most "hated" rivals. It's a rivalry that goes back before my time to the 1967 Cup Final when Spurs beat us 2 1 in what was dubbed "the Cockney Cup Final"

My own personal trauma with Spurs started in the 1974/5 season when a 2 0 Tottenham win at White Hart Lane with goals from Steve Perryman and Alfie Conn meant almost certain relegation for Chelsea in what was a must win game for both of these clubs. Spurs stayed up while Chelsea were relegated a week later. It is something I won't ever forget!

Then there was that big FA Cup game at Stamford Bridge in 1982. Then struggling second division side Chelsea had already knocked European Champions,Liverpool out of the competition in round 5 and a home tie with current Cup holders,Tottenham held no fear in the quarter finals. It all started so well and just before half time,Micky Filliery blasted a screamer in at the North Stand end and in we went in at HT 1 0. I've never experienced such HT joy as that day. The Shed was absolutely rocking. Alas the Spuds came back with 3 quick second half goals and despite Chelsea "goal machine" (NOT) Alan Mayes pulling one back,we went on to lose 2 3 and were out. Cup dreams shattered. Season over. God,I hated them for that too.

Then there was that terrible Avram Grant inspired Carling Cup Final collapse in 2008 when after going a goal up,Spurs came back to beat us in extra time. That awful walk back to the station and all those crowing enemies singing their heads off. They rubbed it in big time and after all the great results we've had against them over the last 20 years,you couldn't really blame them.

There have been other games of course (like the 5 1 hammering also in the League Cup) but the 3 above are the reason I hate Tottenham and the reason we must keep up our record of not losing to them at home in the League since 1990.

Poly Styrene R.I.P.

Absolutely shattered to hear the news that Poly Styrene has passed away. Everything else doesn't matter at the moment and my thoughts go out to her family.


R.I.P.

Scott Parker

Congratulations to Scotty Parker who surprisingly won the Football Writers Player Of The Year award. I say surprisingly because its very rare for a player in a relegation bound team to win these kinds of awards. In my opinion the Football Writers have got it just about right. Maybe Vidic or van der Sar at Champions elect Man Utd might of deserved it or even Gareth Bale at Spuds. I know one thing,not one single Chelsea player deserves it!

Its West Ham tomorrow for Chelsea and without the injured Scott Parker I am EXPECTING 3 points. Parker is THAT important to West Ham and without him I feel they are doomed. Lets hope I'm right :)

A great day out at the Baggies

Just what the doctor ordered. Sunshine,cheap beer a plenty,fantastic away support and 3 points for my beloved Chelsea. Pity Torres's goal was disallowed but it didn't take the gloss off a great day. Our fans were simply superb especially considering the shite week we had just had getting knocked out of the Champions League. They sang some absolute classics - my favourite being "We're gonna win fuck all,We're gonna win fuck all, and now your gonna believe us and now your gonna believe us and now your gonna believe us....We're gonna win fuck all" You've just got to love football humour! I'm glad the Baggies are staying up. Great club,friendly fans and yes that very cheap ale!

News filtered through on the train home via texts that United lost to City in the FA Cup semi much to the delight of what seemed like the whole train (commerations Mullers and all you other Man U fans) Congratulations to City fans. Its been a long wait and maybe now they can finally bag a major trophy. I'm looking forward to today's other semi final between Stoke and Bolton. I think Stoke will win but I would prefer to see Bolton do it because their fans are nicer!

Meanwhile at the bottom of the Premier League,Wigan have given themselves a precious lifeline with a crucial win at Blackpool who are sinking like a stone. West Ham threw away a lead and lost at home to Villa in the other big relegation game and look doomed with some tough fixtures coming up. Chelsea away for the Hammers next Saturday and hopefully we will stuff them!

Demoralised!

So now its official. No trophy's for Chelsea this season. I can cope with that - I have years of experience. I can cope with losing to a better side in the Champions League over two legs too even if it is Manchester United. Congratulations to them. Surely they must be thinking of the treble again now?

What I can't cope with at the moment (well for the best part of the whole season really) is some of the effort put in by my players last night. Some of them are a complete and utter fucking disgrace to the shirt. The manager must take some of the blame too. How blind is he to pick the likes of Torres and Malouda when clearly they have been playing like women's undercarriage's? Lampard gets picked because he is Lampard whether he has been playing shit or not. The same goes for Essien. Anelka too. Our best player last night got sent off which says it all really.

Torres even has a new dedicated website http://hastorresscoredforchelsea.com/

I'm feeling demoralised today. I'm up at West Brom on Saturday and a big part of me wished I wasn't!

Wigan 0 The Undertones 1

It doesn't happen very often but I actually missed a League game at Stamford Bridge against Wigan Athletic yesterday in order to see The Undertones instead. I watched our game on the computer anyway and,as it turned out,it was a very wise decision by yours truely. An awful game and a lucky goal and a 1 0 Chelsea victory. If we play anything like that at Old Trafford on Tuesday then its curtains for the Champions League and dreams of Wembley glory.

Fortunately,I was actually entertained at last nights fantastic gig. 16 quid well spent as The Undertones stormed through their entire debut album on their 35th anniversary tour. Then a whole load of hits to boot. In the end,I couldn't resist going down the front and by time the final number "Mars Bar" came on,I was dripping with sweat,covered in beer and totally out of breath. Didier Drogba and co could learn a lot from the boys from Derry. They entertained me and didn't cheat me!

The dream is over

Well the dream of retaining our League title has been over for while really but recent results gave us an outside hope......but not anymore. Yesterday's 1 1 at Stoke but an end to that for sure. As for Arsenal,they can still win it but lets face it,they won't! So now is the time to congratulate Man Utd on winning the title. They deserve it.

Wednesday's Champions League 1st leg is a game I'm looking forward to although to be honest,I can see a very tight game. Hopefully we can keep a clean sheet but after watching some of our defending yesterday coupled with United's awesome 2nd half demolition of the hapless West Ham,I have my doubts. Whoever wins this tie should,in theory,get to Wembley's Final. I just hope it's us!

England have their Captain back (at last)

So people are again moaning about John Terry but lets be honest here,he is the only natural leader in the England squad and should never of been stripped of the Captaincy in the first place. His crime.....well the press alledged that he was bonking the ex girlfriend of Wayne Bridge. The same press that printed reams of pages about this,apoligised to JT and Vanessa Perroncel back in October over their "mistake" It was in such small print that nobody noticed of course. Capello has proved what a gutless cunt he is on more than one occasion - the latest being the way he has ditched Rio Ferdinand but for me,the biggest crime of Capello's is he hasn't apoligised to John Terry for stripping him of the Captaincy in the first place!

Tottenham: Can they win the Champions League? God,I hope not!

Well the year does end in a "1" so that usually means Spurs win a trophy at Wembley. The surprise package of this years Champions League and a complete pain in the arse for a Chelsea fan! Remember both Nottingham Forest and Aston Villa won the European Cup at their first attempt so can Spurs,making their Champions League debut,do the same? I must admit,it's beginning to worry me. If they get a kind draw then anything is possible this year. Hopefully they'll get Barcelona (before we do)

Chelsea 2 Man Utd 1

Well by all accounts,we had a couple decisions go our way last night and without going all Arsene Wenger on you,I didn't have a good view of the penalty or the JT handball as I'm up the other end at the Shed. David Luiz was lucky not to get sent off though admitedly. I'm not sure why Torres's goal was disallowed and I'm simply amazed Rooney was on the pitch after his "assault" at Wigan so these things even themselves out.

A good first 10 minutes and then we were outplayed for the rest of the first half and deserved to go in at half time a goal down. A much improved second half though and for the time since Blackburn away months ago,we actually came from behind to win a game. Great to see for a change so well done my boys!

The Joy!

Nothing in football gives me more pleasure than Chelsea FC winning and that is a fact. But running a very close second is seeing a rival losing and yesterday I was punching the air with delight as Birmingham City triumphed at Wembley and prevented Arsenal from winning a trophy. Seeing the misery on Wenger's face and those Gooners in the crowd made my day a very joyful one. Thank god for Arsenal goalkeepers!

Well done Birmingham on a fully deserved victory :)

League Cup Final: Arsenal vs Birmingham

Tomorrow is the League Cup (Carling Cup) Final and despite a reputation as a "mickey mouse" cup,when you are actually there at Wembley watching your team,it doesn't matter a toss what anyone thinks - A cup is a cup!. Sunday's final means more than most recent finals as Arsenal have not won one single major trophy since 2005 and they are desperate for some silverware. As for Birmingham,well they haven't won a major trophy in living memory so they will be just as desperate.

I always want the underdog on occasions like these especially when Wenger is involved so I,like many others will naturally be cheering on the Blues tomorrow. I don't think they'll do it but I live in hope. Good luck Birmingham City!

Knocked Out By A Neville! Can Life Get Any Worse?

Life goes from bad to disaster for my poor old team as Chelsea turn a certain victory into another memorable defeat against Everton at the Bridge on Saturday. With just 75 seconds of extra time remaining and an easy looking 5th Round tie against Reading to look forward to,we give a needless free kick away. Leighton Baines scores and the game goes to penalties. Chelsea don't do penalties and even when they were 2 nil up in the shootout,I just knew we would blow it.

Just to rub salt into the wound,Phil Neville scored the winning penalty and sent everyone except the 6 thousand odd Everton fans home very unhappy. Another uninspiring performance. Ancelotti must surely be on the way out at the end of the season. The Double last season,surely nothing this one. I hope half the players go with him. They ain't fit to wear the shirt the lazy fuckers.

Glenda's at it again!

Sky Sports were at the centre of a fresh scandal last night after Glenn Hoddle was accused of making an inappropriate joke about the Chinese live on air.

The former England manager, who was dismissed by the Football Association in 1999 for highly-offensive remarks about the disabled, was providing co-commentary for Sky’s broadcast of the Fulham v Chelsea Barclays Premier League clash at Craven Cottage.

Hoddle seemingly caused Sky fresh embarrassment because of the way he responded to the sight of Fernando Torres squandering a goalscoring opportunity in the 0-0 draw.

During the encounter, Twitter became awash with accusations of Hoddle jokingly comparing Chelsea’s out-of-form £50million signing to the ‘Chinese player Knee Shin Toe’.

A clip of the commentary was posted on YouTube within hours of the incident.

Ironically, Hoddle was employed as a replacement for the disgraced Andy Gray, who was sacked by the broadcaster last month for sexist remarks.

The comments could end any hope Hoddle may have had of securing a permanent role as a co-commentator at the broadcaster.

In my honest opinion,Glenn's comment are not offensive and it was a funny comment especially coming from him but in this PC nanny state world,you could say he's Sky career is looking "dodgy" to say the least.

There was nothing funny about Chelsea's performance or the one of the compete and utterly useless Mike Dean though.

Prepare to be depressed. Its England tonight!

I'm half tempted to watch France vs Brazil online instead of the dross that will be no doubt served up by Denmark and England tonight on the awful ITV. What is the point of this friendly? Top players pull out of these meaningless games and no-one cares a toss about the result. Anyone who's English can get an England cap these days and we all know what will happen in the end. We'll qualify for the 2012 European Championships,the nation will be on a high,full of expectations and then we'll fuck it up as only England do. The song "We're shit,and we know we are" springs to mind!

Ouch!

Typical of Chelsea this season. Expectations risen,the pubs buzzing before the game and everyone on a high. And then they put in a performance which can be best described as totally fucking shit. Outfought yet again by what is,on paper,an inferior team. One poxy attempt on target in 90 minutes. Liverpool came for the draw and got all 3 points and they deserved them but it was torture to watch,not only as a Chelsea fan,but as a football fan. Beam me up Scotty!

A song for Steven Gerrard

Luiz & Torres join the Chels!

Most Chelsea fans will be very happy tonight after we signed Fernando Torres. Personally I'm not so sure for the 50 million we are apparently paying for him. Another overated sicknote who goes missing for long periods during games (if he actually starts them that is) A couple of goals on his debut on Sunday against Liverpool and I might just chance my opinion :)

I'm very happy with our other signing David Luiz. Just the defender we need and at only 23,a snip at 21 million (well it is for us) Most importantly,our owner has sent out a really strong message of intent tonight. We are not finished yet!

Welcome to the club Torres and Luiz.

Well done Birmingham City!

Congratulations to Birmingham City for reaching the League Cup final tonight. They went into the game against West Ham 2 1 down from the first leg and also went a goal down on the night but they finally triumphed 3 1 after extra time. A suberb effort from the Blues. Well done lads!

Andy Gray Sacked!

It couldn't happen to a nicer bloke :)

24 Million for Darren Bent!

Aston Villa finally lost the plot today by signing Sunderland's Darren Bent for a staggering 24 million pounds. Now Bent isn't a bad striker but for 24 million I would more than him. Sunderland really are the Black Cats today and Villa are more mugs than Villians. What is the mad world of football transfers coming to?

Meanwhile Stephen Pienaar has decided to join Tottenham after turning down Chelsea. The main reason appears to be money apparently as Spurs offered him more than us. I suspect Pienaar was never quite good enough for us so the Spuds are welcome to the greedy bastard. We have enough Africans as it is and none of them have pulled their weight this season. A lucky escape for the Chels I reckon.

King Kenny!

You've got to hand it to King Kenny. He lead his team to a fabulous defeat tonight to the mighty Blackpool keeping up his 100% losing record. Oh and that's 6 points Ian Holloway's men have taken off the mighty Pool this season. Turning an early lead into another dismal defeat and amusing the watching worldwide audience to boot. But they were not alone............

Meanwhile down at Portman Road,championship struggler's Ipswich town who only lost 7 0 on Sunday to a team from west London who's name I won't mention,were playing high-flying Arsenal in the first leg of the League Cup. The result,19th placed in the Championship Ipswich 1 Arsenal 0. Who said there is not a god? Okay,we all know the Gooners will stuff them in the 2nd leg but we can dream can't we?

My faith in the beautiful game has been restored over the last few days :)

Gutless!

Another day,another gutless Chelsea performance. Again,certain players don't seem bothered ala Drogba,Essien and Anelka when he came on. Ancelotti looked clueless on the bench as the team looked clueless on the pitch. Loads of possession but no end product.

I feel this is the end for Carlo now although I don't entirely blame him for the mess we are in. He might even get sacked tomorrow but who would we bring in. Fucking Benitez? That is why we must stick with Carlo and that is why the board should put their hands up and back him in the transfer market. The thin squad is the problem. Players are getting rewarded for playing shite by starting every game because there is no one to come in as replacements ala Drogba for instance.

Chelsea are now offically now the Liverpool of the South. The West Ham of West London. Yes,we are THAT bad!

New Year......same old shit!

Some of our players need putting down they really do. Sorry Drogba,thanks for all the goals over the last few years but if you don't want to try,then fuck off out of my club. Don't use malaria as an excuse either. I've seen terminally ill people put in more effort than you. Ditto Anelka,Ferriera and his just as useless replacement Bosingwa who only actually plays well when it's hot (in other words,not very fucking often!) Sadly,Michael Essien and Malouda seemed to given up as well. I wish it was so easy for me put I've already paid my season ticket so I'm stuck with you you useless cunts!

3 3 might sound like an entertaining game and an exciting finish but it doesn't hide just how terrible this Chelsea performance was. I'm taking nothing away from Villa who totally deserved their point (well all 3 really) I didn't think I could get this angry after last weeks feeble surrender at Arsenal but if anything,this has made me madder than ever!

Shocking,discraceful,inept,lazy wankers!